Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Week 4 Day 23

Well, here I am in week 4 and it's time to change up a gear.

Since I started LL I've kept my head down, gritted my teeth and got on with it. Eschewing all social content, the only places I've been for three weeks are work, home and LL HQ. I've been poring over all the LL literature and online info, constantly monitoring myself to make sure I'm not making any mistakes, and that I'm on the right track.

All of which I needed to do at the time, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. But I can't stick my head in the sand (which I'm tempted to do; I have a bit of a thing for avoidance) for the whole 14 weeks. In fact, if I do, I'll probably find it very hard to survive back in "the real world".

I need to start thinking about my wider life, and LL as part of it.

Today I did 3 things:

1. Bought a "magic frother mug" (Google it if you'd like one) - a cheap, motorised, battery-powered mug for handy soup-mixing on the move.

2. Realised the link between cinnamon and feeling hungry - a few days ago I read somewhere that cinnamon was allowed on LL, so I added some to my porridge and it was DELICIOUS. Thing is, for the last few days I've been feeling hungry. Today I read that it's not allowed - technically - but it's up to you as it can make you hungry. As delicious as my cinnamony breakfasts are, I'd rather not feel hungry. Hopefully it won't have affected my weight loss.

3. Decided to spelunk into the attic today to unearth my smaller-size clothes (today was my last day of leave). Halfway through I realised it was futile as I've only lost 9.7lbs so far (although I weighed myself at home last week and appear to have lost a stone). I'm currently somewhere between sizes  (remember those black skinny felty jeans? Fit me perfectly! I wore them all weekend!) so it's probably best to try looking when I've a) lost a bit more weight and b) a bit more time.

I bought the mug because during thise weekend's ghost hunting adventures made sticking to the diet a bit tricky. I didn't lapse, but I did have 2.5 bars in one day (you're only allowed one a day) because I was relying on hotels and public transport and the soup-making opportunities were a bit low on the ground. But it would have been better if I'd got my head out of the sand and been a bit more prepared.

On Friday I went to meet my best friend from work. She didn't have a heart attack but she did say "You look fucking amazing! You look like you've lost a stone" which was gratifying. It was really great to see her. I haven't seen anyone in ages, and not seen her since I started LL.

The event was out in the sticks and the plan was to get the train, check into the Travelodge we'd booked for the night so I'd have time to have my third soup, then go to the event. I planned to have one bar as my fourth pack during the event and, if I needed another, I could have another bar at midnight and count it as the next day's. But the train was horribly delayed so I had a bar on the train, then we had to rush to check in and get to the event.

I was already one bar down so I thought I might be able to have a soup at midnight - we had breaks in a cafeteria every hour or so, but I felt really embarrassed and didn't want to make my soups in front of everyone, so I had another bar (for a full account of the ghost hunting go to my Minimins post about it).

We got back to the Travelodge and crashed out about 5am, then woke up literally minutes before we had to check out at noon. I was overly optimistic about being able to mix up a shake in the tiny hotel room cups (it looked like diarrhoea and I only managed half). Then we headed back to the venue (it had historical merit) to have a look at it in the daytime. While we were there I had ANOTHER BAR (yes, 3 bars in two days - hence the need to prepare better!) and on the way back to the station we saw - TUDDAH - Primark! I bought some "inbetween sizes" tops and a really nice coat (I've been looking for a coat like this for ages - who knew I'd find it in Primark for under £20?) I bought in a size 10 and have hung it by my dressing table for motivation.

So I survived. I did the best I could given the circumstances, but I need to be better prepared, not least because my friend and I are going on another couple of ghost hunting events soon.

Tomorrow is my first day back at work after my week's leave. Sadly, looking back, I haven't rested as much as I wanted to. Part of this wider-perspective thing is looking at the way I live my life; about listening to my body and seeing what it needs - both with food and in life. I have improved a bit overthe last week, so hopefully I'll be able to get better and better. I need to be brave enough to get off the Minimins forum and start living life again!

Well, returning to work should take my mind off it a bit. Also tomorrow I'm meeting my bezzie mate again to to go the cinema  (I shall be taking my last peanut bar with me for dinner). On Saturday I'm going to see my mum for the day.  And I've made plans with another friend in a couple of weeks. Before Sunday I need to get my blood pressure checked, too. I *think* I can do this at my doctor's surgery myself so I'll try that on Friday. If not, I can't get my packs!

Anyway. Enough tonight. Bedtime.


Kirsty said...

Hi Bea
I've just found your blog and i've read the whole thing this evening. I'm thinking about doing LL and your accounts really hit a nerve with me. Its like you are describing my feelings (in a much more funny way)
I've decided to do it! Good luck with yours, I will be reading (and hopefully commenting)

Thank you for your honest opinions (even if they weren't intended that way)


Bea said...

Hi Kirsty,

So glad you've found it helpful! LL seemed a bit of a closed circle before I joined so hopefully I've shed some light in my own way.

Good to know I'm not alone nattering thoughts that make no sense to anyone ;)

Best of luck on your journey (it's easier than you'd think... which is almost the thing that makes it hard) and keep in touch...


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