Week 6 Day 42: 6th LL meeting and weigh-in

Just got back from my LL meeting and weigh-in: according to them I've lost 2.4lbs, which is a marked improvement from my 1.4lbs losses of the last couple of weeks.

I'm firmly convinced this is down to increased water consumption. For the first two weeks I was guzzling 3 litres a day, and lost 4lbs and 3lbs respectively. Since then - I don't know what's happened - I've had "good" days where I remember and drink at least two litres, and bad days where I just forget and hardly drink any (ie on the 70 mile round trip by train to see my mother last Saturday).

All of this is, I think, a symptom of self-sabotage. I forget to drink water - not just because I'm busy at work and rushing around - because I don't prioritise it. I've been quite disheartened with my small weekly losses lately, and it's almost as though my inner saboteur is playing the long game; waiting for me to get so disheartened that I quit the programme altogether. For the same reason I've neglected this blog, haven't done my "three things that I've done well today" lists or any of the homework I've been set. The pretext is "I'm busy" but the subtext is, basically, "losing weight and everyone's reactions to it is scary and new, and I'm not really worth it anyway, so I'll just stay overweight because it's more comfortable".

I only had this realisation towards the end of the working week, so I've really made an effort to drink more water - and I think this has shown up at my weigh-in. If I'd drunk more water all week I think I'd have seen a bigger loss. I'm also finding it demotivating to see the weight loss on myself, then go and get weighed only to find out that I've only lost a pound or so, so I'm weighing myself at home day and night (it's not recommended on the programme). I'm actually finding it quite motivating as I can see the numbers going down and don't just have to rely on my weigh-in.

Anyway, this is how I'm drinking enough water: I carry my little 50cl Evian bottle everywhere with me and sip from it constantly (or try to). Because I'm small I don't need 4 litres, just 3 (minus tea and coffee). So that's 6 bottles a day.

And I have 6 cheapo plastic neon bangles on my left arm. For every bottle I drink, I move one to my right arm. So by the end of the day I should have 6 bangles on my right arm - otherwise I sit around wondering how many I've drunk.

1. I down one as soon as I get up. Before I have my coffee or anything. I'm normally thirsty first thing anyway, and this way I'm down one bottle before I even brush my teeth!
2. I start drinking my second bottle when I'm halfway to work (to avoid being caught out).
3. After that I try to have my third and fourth bottles while at work.
4. I start drinking my fifth when I'm halfway home.
5. Instead of my sixth bottle, I pour 50cl of fizzy water along with my water flavouring into a glass, and sip it through the evening. I try to finish it by 8.30pm to save getting up to go to the loo repeatedly during the night.

Et voila.

I've found a rhythm to my packs now, too. No soups at all here, just:

• Banana latte in the morning before I leave the house (hot banana pack, two sweeteners, instant coffee blended together). I had to work up the courage to try the banana pack alone with coffee, but it's really nice - I make it in an extra big mug so it's not gloopy. The banana is, surprisingly, not so sweet so it helps give that milky consistency.
• Porridge for lunch. When I first started having it, I rushed it so people at work didn't ask about the diet, but I'm less concerned with that now - having unlumpy porridge is more important than what people think of me! I put the powder in a bowl, smush it down with the back of a spoon, add small amounts of cold water and just stir all the lumps away. Then I zap it in the microwave for 30 seconds, stir again, and zap for a final 30 seconds. Unlumpy porridge all round!
• Peanut bar at around 3 or 4. By then I'm usually knee-deep in work and the thought of getting up and preparing something is a bit beyond me.
• Hot chocolate pack at dinner time. Again, it's surprisingly nice hot (especially if you whack 2 sweeteners in) and tastes just like hot chocolate!

At the weekend I have my bars in the evening - the peanut one is lovely toasted for a minute then crumbled into a bowl and sprinkled with salt.

Yummers.

I shall do that tonight.