- Boobs. I never really had 'em before I put on weight and they're slowly deflating. Ah well, looking like a 12 year old boy (and not a Curvy Lady) is a small price to pay for your health and happiness.
- My capacity for alcohol. Again, never really had it before I gained weight! I think it's all that room in your stretched belly that has allowed me to neck bottle after bottle of Corona on nights out. Ah well, can always switch to shorts.
- Those long acres of time where you don't depilate or wax because you're not planning to show your legs to anyone.
- People thinking I'm nice and jolly. I don't know why people think fat folk are all sunbeams and cake recipes. Santa Claus complex, I call it. However, I feel quite awkward and prickly on the inside so it sort of smooths relations when people assume I'm all cuddly and don't see me as a threat. A new challenge in the great adventure of being a friend to myself. Oh god I sound like the green LL book!
- Um...
- Er...
Things I won't miss.
- Those intense waves of self-loathing that sweep over me every time I catch sight of my reflection.
- Being so bloody hungry all the time.
- Not wearing the clothes I like - just the ones that hide me.
- Going swimming or joining a yoga class without being worried that everyone will think "oh look, fattie's trying to get fit" when I walk in.
- Heavy, cover-up clothes in summer.
- The almost incapacitating summer sweats. You know the ones I mean.
- Not worrying that people think I'm useless and have no self-control when they meet me.
- Avoiding photographs.
- Hurty ankles.
- Long flights of stairs being The Enemy.
- Avoiding going out to pretty-dress type events because I'm worried about looking like an auntie.
- Bad asthma.
- Bad back.
- Joint pain.
- Sugar crashes.
- Feeling miserable every time I meet a slim girl with the same height and colouring.
0 comments:
Post a Comment